Response to Prof. Scott's Suggestions

Professor Scott brought up that since my introduction didn't really seem too relevant to the rest of my piece. After rereading it, I agree with Professor Scott and the introduction seems more like unnecessary fluff. Not only is it fluff, but it could cause the reader to lose interest, which would not be conducive to my goal. I like her suggestion about starting the essay off with a story or a conversation that happened in a game. I think that adding player-to-player conversations would add a lot of humor to my essay as well as adding clearer explanations of some of the terminology and jargon that is used in my essay.