Draft Comments

After reading Professor Scott's comments, I realized that there is still a lot of improvements that can be applied to my draft. For instance, in my introduction I only hinted at some of the results that I expect to receive from my research, but I could have cited some results that professionals have found and written in books or articles. It was noted that my cover letter said my proposal for funding, however in the acutal proposal I didn't mention a request for funding. I have to admit that when I first wrote my research proposal i didn't really have a specific audience in mind which lead my writing to be vague and kind of sloppy. I agree with Professor Scott that my methods section needs to be longer and be more structured, perhaps have some of the questions I am going to ask, instead of just saying I am going to use Ventrilo and as some questions. I also need to figure out which sections are actually necessary for my proposal, rather than having sections in my proposal because they were in other proposals.