What's your project? What do you want to accomplish in this essay?
My project is to research the psychosocial effects of prolonged consumption of video games. What I hope to accomplish is to convince the National Institute of Mental Health that my research is something that is worthy of being funded.
What works? How can you build on the strengths of your draft?
In my opinion the best part of my paper would have to be my introduction, but I'm not saying that my paper is good in any sense. In my introduction, I mentioned some of the results that I expect from my research, however I could build on that by including some examples from books or articles.
What else might be said? How might you acknowledge other views and possibilities?
I can entertain other views of the topic of my research by including comments and inputs from people that I interview and some information that has been written by professional psychologist and social observers.
What's next? What are the implications of what you have to say?
The implications of what I have to say is obsessive gaming is quickly becoming an ailment in our society and that if we discern the causes and symptoms we can formulate a method of curing or lessening its effects.
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